Sometime during our sophomore year in college, back in 1995, my future mother-in-law suggested Kathi and I watch a new TV show she just adored.

It was about a group of six people, all in their 20s, that were really close, and spent a slew of time together. “They’re young, like you,” she shared. “And fun. I think you’d really like it.”

So we watched, and surprisingly, to me at least, I enjoyed it. Which was a good reminder to my almost 20-year-old self that teenagers don’t know it all. Mothers really do know best 😊.

The show has a memorable opening with a catchy tune. Even just humming the intro, with no words, might be enough of a clue.

DE-DE-DE-DUH-DUH-DEH-DE-DE…it’s Friends, of course.

The series follows Rachel, Ross, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler, over the course of 10 seasons and 236 episodes, as they learn to live as young adults, through life’s up and downs, supporting each other along the way.

Each episode, in its own way, mirrors the title of the show’s theme song: I’ll be there for you.

For the six Friends always are, in profound and often funny ways.

In one scene Phoebe’s grandmother dies. When Joey and Chandler hear of it at their favorite coffeeshop, Central Perk, they hold Phoebe’s hand while Rachel rushes over and puts her arm around her. The Friends listen to and support Phoebe, helping her cope with the unexpected loss.

Phoebe shares the last thing her grandmother said to her when they were at the grocery store, “Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I’m gonna get the yogurt and we’ll meet at the checkout counter.”  And y’know what? We will meet at the checkout counter, Phoebe realizes, referring to the afterlife. The four share the insight and quietly agree.

Friends support each other in tough times, through listening, empathy, care.

In another episode Ross buys a new couch, and enlists the help of Rachel and Chandler to help move it up a flight of stairs. Turn, turn, turn, Ross directs, as the couch squishes Chandler’s head against the rail.

Pivot! Ross then exclaims, as they try to take another step up. Pivot! Pivot! Pivot! But the couch doesn’t pivot, and gets stuck in the staircase for good. Later needing to be cut in half to be removed.

Friends help each other move heavy things. Or at least they try 😊

Then there’s the scene where Rachel is moving out of Monica’s apartment, and they’re both packing her things, reminiscing, feeling sad, even getting upset with each other. Phoebe does her best to lighten the moment, asking what it is Monica likes about Rachel.

“She folds down the pages of catalogs with things she thinks I’d like,” Monica begins. “When I take a shower she leaves me little notes on the mirror,” she continues. “And when I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket,” she recalls.

And before you know it their fight is over and the two embrace. Friends help us see the best in each other. Friends also resolve conflict, restoring right relationship once again.

Local
This week a group of 14 people from our congregation walked two blocks to the Hilton Downtown to participate in a fundraising event sponsored by Central Iowa Shelter & Services, or CISS. While there we received a distinction: St. John’s Lutheran Des Moines is the recipient of the 2024 Heroes For Homeless award. The honor came with an awesome plaque of the Des Moines city scape. A few us noticed the cityscape is missing one particular church and spire, perhaps we’ll add that in.

We received this award for many reasons. St. John’s is one of eight congregations who founded the shelter in 1992, and for over 30 years has offered them our unwavering financial, volunteer and political support. On the 18th and 19th of every month members of our congregation pay for, prepare, and serve dinner at the CISS shelter to over 150 people. This is one way of many, we live into our call to be In The City, For Good.

If you haven’t volunteered for this amazing ministry, or haven’t volunteered in a while, simply sign up on our website, or add your name to the sign-up sheet in the narthex. Lord knows we’d love to have your help.

At the CISS gathering we also learned of a new mobile app, Bindle, that is launching soon. The app is designed to be an information hub for the unhoused of Des Moines, including where to find food, clothing and shelter, alongside resources for jobs, permanent housing, help with physical and mental health. And if you need free WiFi? The app will point you there. You better believe St. John’s resources will be part of that app when it goes live.

Partnering with CISS isn’t the only way St. John’s helps people society too often marginalizes. Each weekday, in Weertz Hall, right downstairs, we host a free lunch feeding program called the Connection Café. As a member of The Bridge, which partners with other downtown congregations and local companies, we offer this service to the community five days a week, 52 weeks a year. Members and friends of the Bridge collectively fund, prepare and serve over 100 people lunch a day. This adds up to over 30,000 meals we provide, right here, in our space, per year.

As an extension of this, just last month our church council approved a new Unhoused Ministry team to better address the issue of homelessness in Des Moines. If you would like to be part of group of people that cares for God’s beloved children in this way, in a team-oriented, solution-based setting, let us know. We’d love to get you connected to this exciting new thing God is doing here at 600 6th Ave.

Why do we do all this? Because we are friends.

Friends share meals.
Friends connect friends to community.
Friends troubleshoot problems of all kinds, just waiting to be solved.

And we church folk have the opportunity to join in on the fun.

Not servants
Today’s text from John 15 is unique. It’s the only place in scripture where Jesus refers to the twelve he’d travelled with not as disciples or servants, or even students.

Those labels suggest –

Levels,
Hierarchy,
Separation.

Between who has the power, authority, knowledge, and who does not.

Instead, he gives the disciples a new identity. “I have called you friends,” Christ tells them.

There is mutuality in friendship. It is where the vines and branches come together as one.

Friendship is where the health of one impacts the health of all. Friendship embodies loyalty, support, relationship, trust. Friends are there for each other, in good times and bad. No matter what.

The kind of friendship Jesus refers to involves more than just a passive term. For Christ has called us friends if we do something.

If we love one another. Just as Christ has loved us.

Christ makes a bold claim here: to love is to be a friend.
In matters of faith love and friendship are synonymous.

They are one in the same.

We can take this linguistic twist for a spin in some fun ways. Consider the greatest commandment using the language of friendship.

You shall be friends with the Lord your God, giving of all your heart and soul and mind. And you shall befriend your neighbor, treating them as well as treat yourself.

The life of Christ, viewed another way, offers an interesting twist too. Consider Jesus’ resume, and what we are to emulate, through the lens of friendship.

Friends heal the sick.
Friends feed the hungry.
Friends clothe those without.
Friends calm fears.
Friends turn water to wine.

Friends welcome –
The immigrant,
The LGBTQ+,
The black, the brown, the other.

Friends embrace people society often discards.

Faithful friends do all that, not out of obligation, or because it’s the right thing to do. They do all that because living in friendship with God’s beloved brings us into divine harmony with one another. It brings us back to the original plan.

As it once was.
As it can be again.

Just as God walked side-by-side with Adam and Eve in the garden, we are to walk with others, as friends, modeling the friendship Christ extends to us.

Even better, having friends is physically good for us. Studies find if you have strong social connections, you are less likely to have:

• Depression
• High blood pressure
• An unhealthy body mass index (BMI)

Studies even suggest that people with meaningful relationships and social support in their twilight years are more likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections.

Simply put we need friends.
And we need to be friends.

Especially given Christ’s call to friend one another. Just as Christ has friended us.

Pivot
Returning to the Friends theme song for just a bit, consider the lyrics in a new light. As you listen, remember the friend we have in Christ. Be reminded of the importance of friendship with one another.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job’s a joke, you’re broke
Your love life’s DOA
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year, but

I’ll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you
(Like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you
(‘Cause you’re there for me too)

Love one another, yes. But take it a step further. As you encounter people through the journeys of life, no matter who they may be, try something else.

Be a friend. Amen.