Family

Many years ago, a woman stopped author Leslea Newman on the street. “I don’t have a book to read to my daughter that shows a family like ours,” the woman told Leslea. “Someone should write one.”

So Leslea did. Partnering with illustrator Laura Cornell, the 32-page children’s book tells the tale of a family type that far too often gets judged. An excerpt from the book helps explains why.

Heather lives in a little white house with a big apple tree in the front yard and lots of tall grass in the backyard.

Heather’s favorite number is two.  She has two arms, two legs, two eyes, two ears, two hands, and two feet.  Heather has two pets: a ginger-colored cat names Gingersnap and a big black dog named Midnight.

Heather also has two mommies, Mama Jane and Moma Kate.

The book, fittingly titled Heather Has Two Mommies, is one of the first children’s books to highlight a family with two gay parents in a positive light.

Published in 1989 Heather Has Two Mommies preceded changes to U.S. marriage law and our Lutheran denomination’s LGBTQ+ inclusive shift by decades.

The book sought to expand the notion of what family is, and became Leslea’s biggest seller, out of the 75 she’s written, along the way. It is both her most praised and most critiqued work, perhaps no surprise there. School districts and library systems across the U.S. initially tried to ban the book. Ultimately they were unsuccessful. For large cultural change was already underway.

Heather Has Two Mommies has been reprinted multiple times over the years, including in Spanish, as Paula Tiene Dos Mamas. Recent editions were tweaked to stay current with the more open, accepting and affirming language of our times. As the understanding of family evolves, how we describe them evolves too.

And If you aren’t familiar with Bethesda’s statement of welcome, please check it out. It’s on our church website and the front page of the bulletin every week, right next to the rainbow. We’re also are part of this evolution of what family represents. I couldn’t be more proud ?.

Diverse Families
The recipe book for how to make a family has been growing for a while. Families come in more flavors now, arguably, than ever. No longer is the union of one man, one woman, both from similar backgrounds, having 2.5 kids – produced the old-fashioned way – the gold standard.

High divorce rates alone preclude this for most. The gender of who we choose to love matters less and less each year. More than one sixth of newlyweds in the U.S. have a spouse from another race. That is double the rate of all current marriages, and still going up.

Thirty percent of Americans have adoption in their immediate family, including adopting, placing, or being adopted. Biology, too, in defining what makes a family matters less than it once did.

Growing up, I was the oldest child of six. Among my brothers and sisters –
– Some share biology, others are adopted
– Some are black, others white
– Some are straight, others gay
– Some are single, others married
– Some have children, others do not

These traits define the six of us as individuals, no doubt. But it’s what we have in common that matters most. Because this is us. This is family. A complex tapestry of beautiful diversity that knits us together as one.

Expanded Families
Long before Heather Has Two Mommies was written, Jesus too, sought to expand our notion of family.

Today’s text from Mark 3 finds Christ’s relatives joining a crowd where he taught, asking for him. Those gathered passed the message along: your mother and brothers and sisters are here. And they’d like to speak with you.

Jesus did as Jesus so often does, turning something seemingly straight forward – family is a matter of bloodline, right? – into more.

“Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asks rhetorically, not skipping a beat. Turning to those that sat around him he said, “here are my mothers and brothers.”

Disciples, followers, hearers of the Word. This is what it is to be part of the New Community. For Jesus this is what it is to be family.

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Good morning, mother.
Hello, father.
Greetings, sister.
Welcome, brother.

This is what it is to worship together.  It unites us in a grand family reunion every time we gather.

This new identity transcends families defined by biology, or anything else for that matter. Our spiritual families are bound together not by what runs through our veins but instead what flows through our Soul. And if what flows through your soul is the same as what flows through mine, then we, in a very real way, are family.

I hope you have a really big table for Thanksgiving dinner. Cuz the invite list just expanded a ton ?.

Baptismal Families
Today we celebrate the baptism of Carter Rowen McGinn. It’s a celebration that welcomes this sleepy baby boy into a new family. Carter has been claimed as one of the Creator’s own, washed by the waters, adopted into the divine. Carter, you are a beloved child of God.

Baptisms are this great feel-good moment. They remind us of this identity through our own baptisms, no matter how recently or long ago that watery moment occurred.

But baptisms are more than just celebration. They are also commitment.

– By the parents, to help the child grow in the Christian faith.
– By the sponsors, to nurture the child in the faith, empowered by the Spirit.
– By all of us, the people of God, to support and pray for the child.

This, too, is what it is to be family. You help, nurture, support each other along the way.

Helping Families
This understanding of family comes through in today’s text. After sharing that everyone within the sound of his voice is family, Jesus explains why.

Whoever does the will of God, they are my brother, my sister, my mother. They who accept guidance from above are grafted into the vine. They who do are now one with all that ever was. One with all that ever will be.

To be part of God’s family is to follow Christ’s ways. It is to bless the hungry, the thirsty, those without. It is to do justice, show kindness, walk humbly with your Lord. It is to welcome the immigrant, the unaccompanied minor, the widow.

It is to love your neighbor as yourself, regardless of gender, race, orientation, country of origin, or any other group identity used in ways that exclude.

One of my favorite memories here at Bethesda was the Sunday we joined with Body of Christ Church – a local congregation with more racial and ethnic diversity than our own – for worship followed by a potluck meal after service. The food was an eclectic mix of cultures; seeing kringla alongside collard greens, both in the food and the people they represent, was pure joy. This is what it is to be join Jesus in the New Community. This is what it is to part of our Creator’s family tree.

Heather Redux
In Heather Has Two Mommies, Heather goes to her first day of kindergarten, and is asked by a new friend an innocent question, “what does your Daddy do?”  She replies, “I don’t have a daddy,” and wonders, Am I the only one here who doesn’t have a daddy?

Ms. Molly, sensing a teachable moment, asks the class to draw pictures of their families. From this Heather learns families come in all shapes and sizes.

Ms. Molly concludes that, “each family is special.  The most important thing about family is that all the people in it love each other.”

Can you hear echoes of the greatest commandment there? Neighbors, in our spiritual lineage, become relatives when we treat them as well as we do ourselves.

To be part of God’s family isn’t a matter of DNA. It is so much more. To be part of God’s family simply reach out, embrace everyone, no matter who they may be, and do one little thing.

Love.

4 thoughts on “Family

    1. Pastor Ryan I was listening on line and got unexpected company ! So happy I could read this! It was such a fabulous sermon about our lives today and how we are all diverse but United! Loved, loved it!

      1. Thanks Carol, so glad you were able to catch the rest! Kathi and I have really enjoyed working with Dave on combining her wedding ring with her grandmothers – so glad our families continue to intersect!

    2. Thanks Anita, appreciate the kind words! Our congregation being open and affirming is such a gift to preach alongside!

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