Category Archives: humor

Top Ten Church Bulletin Typos

Churches can be funny places, really funny, sometimes by complete accident. Below are the Top Ten Church Bulletin Typos, as reported by current clergy.

#10 Bulletin announcement: Today is Breast Awareness Sunday. (eradicate cancer and get more men to church – WIN WIN!)

#9 Gospel reading: From Paul’s letter to the genitals. (We can confidently say Paul wrote with – and to – cahones)

#8 After the sermon: A moment of silence for prayer and medication (Particularly important for those really long sermons)

#7 Wedding bulletin hymn:  Sin and be glad (Unholy matrimony Batman, now that’s something to sing about!)

#6 Infant Baptism: We welcome Jimmy, the sin of Fred and Freda Smith (Mom and Dad followed pastor’s instructions and had fun, but they were really hoping for a girl)

#5 Litany of the Saints prayer: Joseph of Aromatherapy (does he also deal in Essential Oils? Are they from Arimathea?)

#4 Christmas Day hymn: Angels we have heard on high, sweetly sinning o’er the plains (wait ‘til you hear about what they were doing *under* the plains)

#3 The Words of Institution, in Spanish, the word ‘cuero’ instead of ‘cuerpo.’ Translation: This is my leather, given for you (jacket, sofa or handbag?)

#2 Maundy Thursday service: The ladies of the altar guild will be stripping on the altar (Well that could make for a very Good Friday)

#1 Bulletin announcement: Naked goods can be brought to the parish hall (Canned goods or nice cans? …and another great way to increase attendance)

Bonus Newsletter typo: Dear members and fiends (what if the church members are fiends?)