A couple of months ago, when it seemed like the long, cold winter had finally begun to release it’s snowy grip from this locale, I decided it was time to take my car to get washed. Off with the salt, off with the dirt, bring on the bright – for me the wash symbolized a post-winter spring cleaning of sorts. I was excited.
I went to one of those local gas station car washes; saving a couple of bucks on a car wash with a fill-up tends to get my attention. With printed car wash code in hand I drove over to the vehicle line and waited my turn for the wash. After a few minutes wait I drove up to that little machine you interact with, rolled down the window, typed in the code in, and diligently read the instructions.
Remove or lower car antenna
Roll up window
Drive wheel into track
Stop at yellow line
Put car in neutral
Check,
Check,
Check,
Check,
Check!
I rattled off the list in my head as I did each step and prepared for the car wash to begin.
Being Wronged
But then the weirdest thing happened. I watched as the track that’s supposed to move the vehicle ahead started moving. But my tires, and car, didn’t move an inch, they just stayed put. After what seemed like an eternity – tho was probably just a minute or two – someone walked up, offered to reset the system, and then asked me if the car was in neutral.
Yes, of course, I responded.
What a silly question.
I’d already gone through the list.
I told the man thankyou, and feeling relieved the problem had been solved waited for the car wash to begin.
But then the same thing happened again.
Track started
Car stayed put
At this point there were a couple of other cars in line behind me and I began to feel a slew of emotions. Feelings like frustration, impatience, and judgment – directed at that dumb car wash – began to bubble up.
I concluded, in that moment, that the car wash must be broken. The failure must be in the machine. And me, as the paying customer, had been wronged.
So I drove through the car wash, without getting one, and zipped over to the cashier to get my 5 dollars back. I was still not in the best of moods.
After describing what had happened, and telling the cashier that *clearly* their machine must be broke, they asked the same simple question:
Did you have the car in neutral?
Yes, I replied, as I could feel my face turn a darker shade of red. It was in neutral.
I was sure of it.
As the cashier completed the refund and gave the standard have a nice day and I found myself snidely replying, I will, as soon as I get to a working car wash!
Oh dear, where did nasty response come from?
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Being Wrong
But then, as I returned to the car and looked down at the gear shift I realized something. I’d put the car in the same gear I always do when stopping for a while, it was in Park. That must have been what I’d done in the car wash. And a car in Park won’t budge when a track is moving underneath it.
My emotions of frustration, impatience, and (gulp) anger were suddenly replaced with feelings of humiliation, embarrassment, shame.
The failure wasn’t in a machine, it was in me.
I was the one that was wrong, not a car wash, and certainly not a cashier. And I’d acted out of those feelings in some really crappy ways.
Sober Judgement
If only I’d read Romans 12 before heading to get that car wash
If only I’d paused, and reflected on Paul’s wisdom some
If only I’d taken those wise words to heart
Verse 3 reminds us to “not think of yourself more highly than you ought to think.”
I was sure I’d followed those car wash instructions to a T.
Absolutely sure of it.
And yet, when given the opportunity (twice!) to recheck the gear shift, I instead replied, over-confidently, and incorrectly, that the car was in neutral.
And even worse I hadn’t treated people around me too well, instead letting my emotions in that moment get the best of me.
What began as a mundane task, of getting a car washed, ended with something I was less than proud of.
So how could have this gone differently? The second half of verse 3 offers more wisdom, saying simply “think with sober judgment.”
I love that phrase. Sober judgment is another way for saying think with a clear head. Aka don’t get tied up with negative emotions. If I’d done that perhaps I could have heard the good advice to actually check the gear shift one of those times.
Verse 18 offers one more kernel of truth I wish I’d followed: “If it is possible live peaceably with all.” When I gave that snide remark to the cashier egad did I fail on this one. Even if the car wash was broken I could have at least been kind. Living peaceably with others is such a simple concept, tho so incredibly hard at times to live out.
Close
So often in our daily lives we find ourselves in circumstances rife with the potential to create conflict, both within us, and with others.
We let pride get in the way of reason
We talk at times when it’s better to listen
We lash out when the moment calls for kindness
Instead of responding to a frustrating situation as I did here, consider applying Paul’s approach in Romans 12.
Stay humble
Keep a clear head
And, if possible, live peaceably with all
For when we do, we bring the relationships around us into alignment with each other, which brings us into alignment with our Creator. And when we do, instead of finding ourselves burdened with feelings of anger, guilt and shame we can instead experience joy, peace, fulfillment.
And, on occasion, instead of being stuck with the messy dirt of life that, when left unchecked accumulates on us and others, we may just find ourselves sporting a much, much cleaner car.
