Monthly Archives: August 2014

Top Ten Church Bulletin Typos

Churches can be funny places, really funny, sometimes by complete accident. Below are the Top Ten Church Bulletin Typos, as reported by current clergy.

#10 Bulletin announcement: Today is Breast Awareness Sunday. (eradicate cancer and get more men to church – WIN WIN!)

#9 Gospel reading: From Paul’s letter to the genitals. (We can confidently say Paul wrote with – and to – cahones)

#8 After the sermon: A moment of silence for prayer and medication (Particularly important for those really long sermons)

#7 Wedding bulletin hymn:  Sin and be glad (Unholy matrimony Batman, now that’s something to sing about!)

#6 Infant Baptism: We welcome Jimmy, the sin of Fred and Freda Smith (Mom and Dad followed pastor’s instructions and had fun, but they were really hoping for a girl)

#5 Litany of the Saints prayer: Joseph of Aromatherapy (does he also deal in Essential Oils? Are they from Arimathea?)

#4 Christmas Day hymn: Angels we have heard on high, sweetly sinning o’er the plains (wait ‘til you hear about what they were doing *under* the plains)

#3 The Words of Institution, in Spanish, the word ‘cuero’ instead of ‘cuerpo.’ Translation: This is my leather, given for you (jacket, sofa or handbag?)

#2 Maundy Thursday service: The ladies of the altar guild will be stripping on the altar (Well that could make for a very Good Friday)

#1 Bulletin announcement: Naked goods can be brought to the parish hall (Canned goods or nice cans? …and another great way to increase attendance)

Bonus Newsletter typo: Dear members and fiends (what if the church members are fiends?)

churchsign2